I first grilled the frankfurters to ensure they had a nice crunch and some sporty grill marks. I then wrapped them up and sliced them to make convenient appetizer sized pieces. They’re served with spicy brown deli mustard (no bright yellow mustard for Uncle Larry) and some kosher dill pickle slices. Although they may not be as involved as some of my other culinary creations, they seem to be a fan favorite. Bet you can’t eat just one of them. Order a tray today!
Yes, Britain voting to leave the EU was big news, but that was so yesterday. The new hot story is Uncle Larry’s Brisket Schlumpia®! Here’s everything you need to know about it.
Note: If you are a vegetarian, please substitute the word tofu for brisket whenever it appears in this article. I’m sure it would taste just as good. Then again maybe you should just skip this post and order some of our vegan friendly kasha varnishkes Schlumpia®.
So how’d we make it? First of all, we use the best ingredients possible. You won’t find ketchup, Lipton onion soup mix or Canada Dry ginger ale in our brisket nor will we use the scrawny trimmed flat portion that’s found in supermarkets around the Jewish holidays. We purchased and then lugged an entire whole 20+lb brisket that was locally sourced. By locally sourced I mean we bought it a Restaurant Depot that was less than 15 miles from our rented commercial kitchen. We then cut it in half to fit into our 2 roasters, seasoned it with lots of Kosher salt and coarsely ground fresh black pepper and seared both sides. “What about all the fat Uncle Larry?” you may be thinking to yourself. Fat gives the brisket flavor, so we left it on during the cooking process.
Next we added lots and lots of garlic cloves (about 100). Don’t worry they mellow out nicely after cooking. Then we opened a bottle of good red wine and added some of it along with organic chicken stock, and imported San Marzano tomatoes. Lastly we added a generous portion of sliced Vidalia onions, and some fresh herbs right from Uncle Larry’s garden. Freshly snipped rosemary sprigs, basil and oregano were added and the briskets cooked in covered roasting pans for about 3 hours. We finished the remaining wine to help pass the time.
The briskets were then cooled in the refrigerator overnight and the remaining cooking liquid, vegetables and herbs were pureed to make an amazing dipping sauce for the Schlumpia® and refrigerated. The next day, most of the outer fat was trimmed off the brisket and it was sliced thinly against the grain with a deli slicer. We then rough-chopped it (so somebody won’t bite into a brisket Schlumpia® and end up with a large slice of meat dangling from their mouth). The cooled dipping sauce had about an inch of solidified fat that rose to the top which was discarded (although I think my Grandmother would have just stirred it back in during the pre-cholesterol awareness days of yore).
We added some of the rich sauce to the sliced brisket to ensure it kept moist and tender and it was rolled into lumpia wrappers and pan fried until crispy. We add some Liao’s Chili Chutney to our dipping sauce give it some heat. Bon appetit!
Rumor has it that Nabisco food scientists are jumping onto the brisket bandwagon and feverishly working on formulating a brand extension for their oh-so-popular classic, Chicken in a Biskit.
This combo cracker will taste like chicken and brisket and be called Chicken and a Brisket. Be on the lookout for it at your local food store. Then again, why not just order a tray of Uncle Larry’s Brisket Schlumpia®?
Just like Uncle Larry’s Schlumpia®, famed actor Rob Schneider is part Jewish, part Filipino. Who would be better as the new spokesperson for the Schlumpia® brand? Well actually I guess Pheobe Cates (of Fast Times at Ridgemont High fame) might be even more of a Jewlipino coup, but her people weren’t as eager (desperate) as Rob’s in responding to my inquiries.
Did Uncle Larry really get Rob Schneider on board? Well, maybe I’m embellishing just a wee bit. I did recently meet Rob and did tell him about Schlumpia® and he seemed quite interested. He loved the concept and told me his wife loves lumpia. I took this to assume he and his family would certainly love Schlumpia® and he would of course want to be the official Uncle Larry’s Schlumpia® spokesperson or business partner is the growing trend of celebrity restaurants. If you have Michael Jordan’s The Steakhouse, Sam Hagar’s Cabo Wabo, Robert De Niro’s Nobu, Jon Bon Jovi’s Soul Kitchen, Mark Wahlberg’s Wahlburger, then why not Rob Schneider’s Schlumpia®? Well I gave him my business card, so the ball’s in his court. Hope to hear from you soon Rob!
PS – Check out his show “Real Rob” on Netflix – It’s a very funny show and I’m not saying this just because there is a chance (albeit minuscule) that he will be joining the Schlumpia® movement.
Today I tried to make a DIY version of tuna spring rolls I enjoyed recently at Buddakan in Atlantic City. Crispy spring rolls were filled with perfectly spiced tuna tartare. The challenge was how to fry an empty lumpia and then fill it with the cold tuna mixture. If I fried them pre-filled, they’d become hot tuna, which may make for some decent music, but not the recipe I was trying to replicate.
The solution was repurposing a tool used to make cannoli. I wrapped lumpia wrappers around metal molds that traditionally hold cannoli dough. After frying them and letting them cool, I just slid the empty crispy spring rolls right off the molds.
I filled them with my tuna tartare mixture and my family and I quickly devoured them.
That’s when I realized that these were gateway Schlumpia® that would enable many new varieties suited perfectly for those Jewish inspired fillings that aren’t best served piping hot, delivered in a crispy lumpia wrapper. I will soon work on some new Schlumpia® varieties: chopped liver, whitefish salad, Israeli salad and even lox & cream cheese. Stay tuned.
We start by peeling and chopping some Granny Smith apples, chop and toast walnuts and soak some golden raisins in Gosling’s dark rum (What wouldn’t be good soaked in dark rum?)
Then we cook the apples, add some spices and roll them into lumpia wrappers, thus transforming them into Apple Strudel Schlumpia®. The final step is to sprinkle on some confectioner’s sugar.
They can be served with fresh raspberries or to emphasize the Jewish-Filipino fusion element, just add a scoop of ube ice cream. They’re great hot and are probably equally good at room temperature, but they seem to disappear too quick to try them like that.
After I made my last batch of Apple Strudel Schlumpia®, I decided to surprise the folks at my local TD Bank with a Random act of Schlumpia®