Schlumpia® Cocktail Franks – They’re a Weiner!

I once went to a French cooking class taught by a classically trained chef.  He was complaining that although he painstakingly makes Coq Au Vin, Coquilles Saint-Jacques and Cassoulet, Americans are more excited about a specific pedestrian food, “How you Americans say – pigs in the blanket”.  I can relate.  I get rave reviews about my Schlumpia fillings:  brisket with wine, garlic, sliced onions, San Marzano tomatoes, and freshly harvested herbs that roasts gently for 4 hours or my home cured , freshly ground spice rubbed pastrami that  is slow-cooked for 6 hours.  Both these dishes then must cool overnight before being thin sliced on a deli slicer (quite involved to say the least).  But, people seem to really love my “Cocktail Franks Schlumpia®“.  I don’t call them “Pigs in a blanket” since it doesn’t sound kosher:)IMG_3078
I didn’t want to use typical mini hot dogs that you find as hors d’oevres at weddings, but something a bit more substantial.   I used the biggest kosher franks I could find – Hebrew National quarter pounders!  I then had to supersize the lumpia wrappers too.  I found some that were almost record album sized.  No measly ’45s for my Schlumpia®.

IMG_3070I first grilled the frankfurters to ensure they had a nice crunch and some sporty grill marks.  I then wrapped them up and sliced them to make convenient appetizer sized pieces. They’re served with spicy brown deli mustard (no bright yellow mustard for Uncle Larry) and some kosher dill pickle slices.  Although they may not be as involved as some of my other culinary creations, they seem to be a fan favorite.  Bet you can’t eat just one of them. Order a tray today!


Goodbye Brexit; Hello Brisket!

Yes, Britain voting to leave the EU was big news, but that was so yesterday. The new hot story is Uncle Larry’s Brisket Schlumpia®!   Here’s everything you need to know about it.


Note:  If you are a vegetarian, please substitute the word tofu for brisket whenever it appears in this article.  I’m sure it would taste just as good.  Then again maybe you should just skip this post and order some of our vegan-friendly Kasha Varnishkes Schlumpia®.

So how’d we make it?  First of all, we use the best ingredients possible.  You won’t find ketchup, Lipton onion soup mix or Canada Dry ginger ale in our brisket nor will we use the scrawny trimmed flat portion that’s found in supermarkets around the Jewish holidays.  We purchased and then lugged an entire whole 20+lb brisket that was locally sourced.  By locally sourced I mean we bought it a Restaurant Depot that was less than 15 miles from our rented commercial kitchen.  We then cut it in half to fit into our 2 roasters, seasoned it with lots of Kosher salt and coarsely ground fresh black pepper and seared both sides. “What about all the fat Uncle Larry?” you may be thinking to yourself.  Fat gives the brisket flavor, so we left it on during the cooking process.

Dueling briskets

Next we added lots and lots of garlic cloves (about 100).  Don’t worry they mellow out nicely after cooking.  Then we opened a bottle of good red wine and added some of it along with organic chicken stock, and imported San Marzano tomatoes. Lastly we added a generous portion of sliced Vidalia onions, and some fresh herbs right from Uncle Larry’s garden.  Freshly snipped rosemary sprigs, basil and oregano were added and the briskets cooked in covered roasting pans for about 3 hours.  We finished the remaining wine to help pass the time.


BrisketThe briskets were then cooled in the refrigerator overnight and the remaining cooking liquid, vegetables, and herbs were pureed to make an amazing dipping sauce for the Schlumpia® and refrigerated.  The next day, most of the outer fat was trimmed off the brisket and it was sliced thinly against the grain with a deli slicer.  We then rough-chopped it (so somebody won’t bite into a brisket Schlumpia® and end up with a large slice of meat dangling from their mouth).  The cooled dipping sauce had about an inch of solidified fat that rose to the top which was discarded (although I think my Grandmother would have just stirred it back in during the pre-cholesterol awareness days of yore).

Brisket sauceWe added some of the rich sauce to the sliced brisket to ensure it kept moist and tender and it was rolled into lumpia wrappers and pan-fried until crispy.  Bon appetit!

Rumor has it that Nabisco food scientists are jumping onto the brisket bandwagon and feverishly working chicken and a biscuiton formulating a brand extension for their oh-so-popular classic, Chicken in a Biskit.

This combo cracker will taste like chicken and brisket and be called Chicken and a Brisket.  Be on the lookout for it at your local food store. Then again, why not just order a tray of Uncle Larry’s Brisket Schlumpia®?